Love…….for life and learning…..a ‘light bulb moment’ #AHA!

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Here’s a question…….. If you could attend the University of Life – what subjects would you want to see on the curriculum?

As our thoughts naturally turn to love on St Valentine’s Day I thought I would consider a slightly unusual concept of love.  One that I would never have considered possible two years ago.

How does this sound to you?  I truly love the man who caused me the most pain in my life.

For the last two years, I have managed to get myself to the point of being grateful for what he put me through because it tested me to the limit and showed me what inner strength I had.  It showed me that I could stay positive (just about!) in the face of adversity and with the huge amount of love from my family and friends.  That is what kept me going in the early days.

Then I moved onto a state of forgiveness.  I realised that he could not really help himself in terms of how he behaved and this was deeply engrained in him from childhood trauma.  I realised that I was dealing with his own fearful inner child, manifesting itself in a scary adult ‘monster’ in my business world.

I was convinced I had got myself into a really good place about this man until he resurfaced in my life again last week.  I got the same feelings I used to have as soon as I saw his name come up in my inbox.  It appeared that he was also the same old same old and was using attack as defense.  I was a bit cross and disappointed at myself – because I really did think I had got over him.

So how have I managed to switch in the space of a year from hatred, anger and fear to absolute unconditional love for this man.

I had a massive ‘light bulb moment’!

I began to look at things from a soul level.

I now know through experience and being on this incredible journey of life that we are here to simply learn lessons.  At a soul level we enter into an agreement to play our part in each other’s ‘hero’ story.  This might be a slightly difficult concept for some to take on board so I would ask that you read this with an open mind.  What I know is that as a soul we have a mission ‘a soul purpose’ as some would call it.  We carry out this mission over many lifetimes and in between lives we review what has happened.  Each life is meticulously planned and we enter into an agreement with other souls in terms of the role they will play in our own lives.

So what was this man’s role in the play I call my life?  What was he here to help me learn and did he carry out his purpose?

I have come to realise that he was here to act as a trigger for my awakening.  It was not going to happen gently.  It had to happen with a great big jolt!  I needed to be ‘jolted’ out of my sleepy reverie.

My life has transformed as a result.

I know who I really am.

I know why I am here.

I am excited about the path before me and everything seems to flow magically my way.

I have the most amazing people around me and I love them all to bits.  Many of these people have only been in my life for a short time and yet I feel so much love for them.

I feel calm, peaceful, excited, joyous and light all at the same time (well…most of the time…I am only human after all!)

So when I was in a discussion with a friend yesterday and we talked about a similar position she was in – I found myself saying that I truly love the man who everyone thought I should hate.

And I sincerely do because he carried out his soul agreement in my life to perfection and made himself pretty unpopular into the bargain.  He must have known that.  He chose to deliver on his role in my life knowing it would have very negative repercussions for him personally and he still delivered spectacularly on it..

His actions did exactly what they were destined to do.

He awakened the inner hero in me….and for that..I truly love him.

Thank you.

I well and truly entered the University of Life and that is why I ask this question.  I learned so much from my experiences and from others who had gone through similar.

I have a passion to help others who may be going through similar and that is why I ask the question because I know this is my destiny.

So I would love to hear your thoughts on what should be in the curriculum for a University of Life.

What would you like to learn, where would you value a guidance and support and how would you like to access this and be involved?  This is being developed with a team of global partners right now and I would really value your input.

You can reply back on Facebook or this blog or email me directly at

Lots and lots of love……Vivienne  xxxxx


13 thoughts on “Love…….for life and learning…..a ‘light bulb moment’ #AHA!

  1. First of all thank you for such a meaningful, as ell, as powerful post.Through your words I’ve seen a characterization of my own journey, but that isn’t unexpected, because the more we become connected, the more we witness features shared by others of their journey, that is or have been experienced in some capacity in our own. Our journey is a series of transitions. Perhaps in the beginning with a lack of consciousness & awareness, perhaps even confuse, skepticism, etc.. Ultimately as our awareness, consciousness grows, as well, as our responding to that ongoing inner call to discover who we really are, we beginning to cherish gratitude, instead of regret, as you beautifully shared. I’m very appreciative of your sharing, as always…..Namaste

  2. Thank you Vivienne, your words echo my own experience. It took me many years to awaken to the truth… each person one encounters in life has a purpose and the most meaningful lessons have come about thanks to those whose soul contracts have caused me most pain. I am truly grateful for the part they played in my life because without them I would not be the person I am today.
    Love and God bless

  3. I related to your story for the most part, still working on that forgiveness, just when I feel that I have, its not because he deserves it, its because I want to make is memory disappear, but we have children together, makes it hard, him/new wife & his Mother are Mean people, its hard to see there Extreme bad behavior(untrustworthy) as helpful for growth, when they like to keep making life so difficult, So I want to move on and find what You have found, It seems impossible.

    • Hi Laura
      I never thought I would move on either. The man left me a legacy of real financial debt and it has caused further challenges – but I have looked beyond every earthly issue and the deeper meaning of what he did to me and the person I have come as a result. It is hard when the person is still in your life. The big shift for me happened when I realised that I had set this life path out for myself and had set myself these powerful challenges because I wanted to grow as a soul and you can’t do that with an easy life:-) So I would keep reminding yourself that you are a brave soul because you set yourself some challenges. He just played a part in your hero journey:-) Hope this helps. My books may help you and we are developing an Academy which will help with these kind of issues so hope we can support you on your journey Laura. xxxx

  4. Thank you..Your words echo my own experience with the father of my three children..No one to this day can understand how I still care for someone who stomped on my heart and tore my world apart.I have grown so much since..We still to this day talk and care for one another even though I am happily remarried. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the posts you share..

  5. I wrote out my answers before I even read the rest of the article. I enjoyed doing so, so thank you for the question. I finally have the answers to all of these, although with one I still need some work. (1) How to release buried emotions and unnecessary fear (non-fight-or-flight). (2) The Law of Attraction. (3) How to make good decisions and expand your intuition. (Note—growing up I didn’t believe in intuition and made all of my decisions based on logic and sometimes fear.) (4) Understand other people and why you can feel good about them, as well as yourself. (5) What role energy plays in relationships, and what you can do about it. (6) How to empower yourself and run your own life and/or live the life you were meant to. (7) Why nobody should ever make a vow of any kind.

      • Hi Vivienne, I agree with 1-6! I have always believed that we are not preparing our young for life and one of the most needed additions to the school curriculum is the need to teach how to regulate emotions and how to be in relationships. We may never use chemistry, history or algebra again in our lives, but we will most likely be in a relationship (even if its a work relationship) and we will definitely be experiencing our emotional self throughout our lifetime. learning that emotions simply are messengers that exist in order for us to learn about ourselves have helped many of my clients as they learn to accept and embrace this valuable resource.

      • Thank you Kris. I love this response. We will be launching this very Academy soon. I also intend for it to be accessible by young people and this is a key audience that we wish to help. I will add you to our newsletter if you like so you can keep up to date with what is going on. Bless you for your encouraging comments. xxx

  6. Love…….for life and learning…..a ‘light bulb moment’ #AHA! | emirhanhasancanosman

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